Ironing
I will now teach you the ways of the iron. After we put our clothes through the Purgatory which is the washer (beater) and dryer (burner), if you’re like me you take them straight to hell by way of the piping hot iron! I iron every scrap of clothing I have, every time I launder them. Yes, EVERY scrap (please don’t ask). And when I travel, I launder my clothes before I go, I iron them all, neatly fold them, pack them, fly to my destination, unpack my clothes and yes, I iron them again. Because obviously someone unpacked my suitcase and wrinkled all my clothes while in flight. I didn’t do it! I folded them neatly…NEATLY I SAY!! I have an idea that’s just now coming to me….Why wear clothes at all? I know I know, it’s that vanity thing. But think of the money we would save and the hassles we would no longer have if we could just get past that! Sure we’ll ruin a few couches here and there, and trust me, no one wants to go naked less than me, and no one wants to see other people naked, well, other male people anyway, as little as me. But it’s the best possible answer. We could get past it if we just give it a try. Yes it would be difficult at first but you’ll see. Here’s how it will work.
Naked days 1-10: I’m not gonna lie to you, there will be vomiting. Naked days 11-90: Eye contact avoidance, or E.C.A. will be widespread. Doctors will find a treatment, then eventually we’ll settle on reluctant acceptance or R.A. After that nakedness will be the money and time saver of the century! That is why I, John Robinson, do hereby declare February 1st, 2018 to be NATIONAL NAKED DAY! (Naked E-Flyers and Save the Dates to follow)! Please help me get the word out. Set your Washers to: DO NOT Agitate and your Dryers to: Chillax for just one day. Thank you for this platform to launch my new campaign.
And contact me if you’d like to get on the list to purchase one of my two new inventions: Skinny Glasses, and Camouflage skin. Countdown to N.N.D starts today, let’s all get started by removing our socks.
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