Yet Another Iphone

New slogans overheard in the Iphone 11 development room-

“Assembled with precision!  What were YOU doing when you were twelve?”

“Now 50% more slippery”

“Get to know it before we cha…oops, we just changed it again. Well, get to know THIS one before we…oops”

“Where’d my Contacts go…WHERE DID ALL MY CONTACTS GO!?!”

“Somehow the IPhone you buy today, will be two years old by this time next year.  Ask us how!”

“The Toilet Magnet”

“Of course it’s better to have the plug in on the bottom, that’s why we only took 9 versions to put it there?” No good?  How about this one:  “We put the plug in on the bottom because more and more people are standing on their heads”   Still nothing? How about: “Someone at the I-Phone factory said Bottoms up” … Let’s move on.

“If you get used to it, we have failed”

“The sexy new length skips better across the lake”

“Find the phone with the Apple logo that does NOT have a bite out of it and WIN!”

“Our new longer phone instantly takes one glove size off your hand”  (Ya see cause the longer phone makes your hand look smaller, so it’s like taking a dress size off, only it’s your hand.  If you would like more explanation I am available to discuss it by appointment only)

“Now you can mark certain emails with an orange dot beside them so you’ll feel even more stupid when you forget to respond to them”  Go Bronco’s?

“Now comes with a float that pops open when the phone is dropped in water, keeping it safe”  WARNING: Float that pops open when the phone is dropped in water not included and made up.

“Where’d my music go?…. WHERE DID ALL MY MUSIC GO!?!”

“The inbox is now the outbox, and the outbox is now the inbox.  The drafts folder is still the drafts folder”

“Download the latest software version: ‘BTTYDTWHYANSU,I’   which I’m sure you know is an acronym for: By The Time You Download This We Have Yet Another New Software Upgrade,  Idiot!

“Our new model comes with a ‘Damn Phone’ feature.  An exact replica of itself made of rubber for you to throw, stamp on (or stomp on, your choice) or whatever pleases you when you’re mad at your real phone”

“We have added a British trash folder:  Rubbish!”

“Now the antenna bars that show how much signal strength you have actually MEAN something!  Oh wait, that’s still in development”

“Impossible to lose!”  Sorry, that was Siri misunderstanding me again, what I said was “I’m possible to lose”