Bathtub Commercial Revised

Remember that commercial on TV that showed a man and a woman sitting in separate bathtubs outside!?!  Who thought of this?  Let’s go over a few concerns about bathing outside and we’ll just forget about the fact that they each have bathtubs for some reason.  First, if you have pipes running out of the tubs someone’s gonna trip and fall, and you’re more likely to trip when you’re wet, and there’s nothing worse than falling down when you’re wet.  I don’t know why this is but I’m sure you agree.  Second, how are you going to dry off?  Aren’t you going to step out of the tub and get your feet all muddy?  Because there’s nothing worse than getting your feet all muddy when you’re clean and wet!  Plus you get that blade of grass that sticks to your foot and you can try to brush it off but it just moves to a new location on your foot.  It’s a whole thing.  You can always just dry off while inside the tub but you’ll have to wait until all the water drains out first.  And there’s nothing worse than laying in the tub while all the water very slowly drains and you end up just lying there in an empty tub all wet!  And trust me it’s gonna drain very slowly because of the peach pit that’s stuck in the pipe, and why you were eating a peach in the bathtub is beyond me.  No that’s NOT multi-Tasking!  And fruit that has a pit is NOT handheld fruit.  Period!  All the gnawing and sucking on the pit at the end…disgusting.  And then of course there is the question of the towel rack.  I don’t see a towel rack, so where are the towels?  You know how cold it can be when you’re wet and outside right?  In fact, there’s nothing worse than getting out of the tub outside when there is no towel and your naked and wet!  Well I hate that commercial anyway.  There’s nothing worse than that commercial.  I know that’s not a witty end to this story.  I can’t really think of a good ending and I hate that.  In fact there’s nothing worse than struggling to find a smart, funny ending to a story, when you’re all naked and wet!