I don’t think I can write anything right now because I just got back from a strange house I was working in and it was traumatic. There was a mouse running around in the bedroom….his name was not Mickey. I checked. Twice I heard rustling from a hole in the kitchen wall. I’m sure it... Read More

The following are future inventions that I hear they will get made with just a little luck, a lot of money, a whole bunch of magic, and some shoe polish. Spanx contact lenses: Need I say more?  Ever?  You’re welcome Academy Awards of inventions! Billboards that don’t distract you by making you look up at... Read More

I think I was born with the wrong name.  Actually I wasn’t born with a name, unless the term ‘live birth’ is a name.  I believe my parents thought up my name and gave it to me.  Well, that’s not correct either, my name is John, and I don’t think that my parents thought up... Read More

The middle name is kind of worthless don’t you think?  Most people don’t know the middle name of their closest friends.  We give our kids middle names of people in our family who weren’t quite good enough to score the first name honor.  It really seems to be pretty much just symbolic unless you’ve been... Read More

Don’t you hate it when people say ‘in the morning’ after saying AM?  Even on TV the weather person today said “It’s been going on since about 5AM in the morning”.  That’s what the AM means weather chick!  Ante Meridiem,  which means ‘Before Noon’.  Why does it mean that you ask?  Let’s Google it:  Meridian... Read More

So when I got to the house to pick up an item I had bought on the web the door was unlocked but no one was there.  I decided to sit on the back deck and just see if anyone showed up.  After a minute, someone did.  It was a Hornet.  I think his name... Read More

I think there should be more stringent laws about what you are allowed to say when you advertise a product. It seems that you can say about anything anymore and get away with it.  Below is the true story behind some of the bold claims you see: ONE SIZE FITS ALL- One Size fits one... Read More

Most people know about my fear of bees.  Anyone who hangs around me outdoors for ten minutes becomes aware of this, based on the shrieking they hear every time a leaf falls off a tree, or when my peripheral vision is invaded by a butterfly.  And if the little boy next door reports to me... Read More

Food and meals have many names, and many of them are gross.  Here are some foods you shouldn’t eat and the reasons why- Goulash – You can’t even say it without fist saying ‘Goo’ so need I continue? Baklava – So foreign sounding I feel like I need a passport to eat it. Toast –... Read More