Gym

I think the thing I hate most about going to the gym is the weights. They are SO heavy! If you know of a gym where the weights are very light and maybe soft, please let me know. In fact, did I just get an idea for a great new gym or what? Ok listen up, er, READ up is what I mean…or just SHUT up and check this out ok?…sorry, too much crack in my diet. About my new gym. All the weights will be soft and light and the machines (like my dates after I slip them a lil’ somethin) will have no resistance. You’re not allowed to sweat so please don’t exert yourself (again like my dates). Also let’s get rid of those horrible gym clothes and just wear what we wear normally that hides all the bad areas and accentuates the good. As long as we’re not sweating and we don’t have our hands full with weights let’s serve drinks also, it’d be a nice refreshing change from the standard gym. And finally some snacks and….oh crap, did I just invent Happy Hour? Whatever, just make sure to do it 3-5 times per week or you won’t get any results (again with the date reference). Or wait! How about this, zero gravity gyms!! Yeah let’s invent that crap out of that! Everything is super light so it’s no problem to lift anything. It’ll be sophisticated too, we won’t even call it a Gym, we’ll call it a James! I knew somehow I could make this story have a happy ending (yet another D…biting tongue…must not say it…)….