Happy New Year’s

Last year people kept saying to me ‘Happy New Years’, which drove me crazy because why so plural?  Are you wishing me a happy new year as well as a happy the next year?  Just stick with Happy New Year and then we’ll see how it goes, ok?  If it’s important to you, just contact me to have a happy new year the next year. It’s an annual thing.  Just don’t wish me a happy year after the year we’re heading into by saying Happy New Years.  It could be dangerous. You can’t be so sure there will be a next year!  Aardvarks from outer space may swoop down and clear us off the earth once and for all, and won’t you feel like an idiot with all those people you had wished happiness to for that year?  Kinda hard to be happy when you are inside the belly of a space aardvark!  Oh I forgot to mention they eat those of us who don’t have any Brussel Sprouts in our digestive track because what intelligent aardvark wants to accidentally taste a B-Sprout?!?  There’s a reason the initials are BS!  So, the moral of this story I guess is, just wish people a Happy New Year, singularly.  And for God sake be nicer to earth aardvarks, you never know.