Monkey Business

I was at the zoo once with my 8 year old nephew and while watching the monkeys he said he wished he could be a monkey, and he wished all people were monkey’s because they have so much fun.  Well first off there is no question that mom needs to sit him down in front of all the Planet of the Apes movies.  But also, I decided to sit him down and talk to him about being a monkey, because I think he’s dead wrong.  I said to him-  “Do you know that monkeys can’t do most things people can do? Like talk on the phone, order pizza, answer questions while playing Jeopardy, yell at stray cats, sing along to the band Stray Cats?”  I guess I just mostly just covered the part about the fact that we can talk and monkey’s can’t.  But while I was talking he looked at me in a very strange way, then he reared back and threw feces at me. I realized then that he wasn’t my nephew after all, he was a monkey.  I guess the moral of this story is that I like to go to the zoo and tell monkey’s how stupid they are!  Now I know that many of you will read this and think, what’s up with this guy, is he on drugs or something?  Well, maybe you should ask my nephew that question, but make sure you’re wearing a mask or something when you do, he’s a pretty good aim.