Political Phrases

Lord help us it’s that time again, where our fearless leaders say the darndest things. In case you don’t understand some of these historically famous locutions (yes that’s a word), please allow me to explain:

 

A house divided against itself cannot stand

This one sounds like it’s going to take some math to figure out so I’ll get back to it..

Ok back to that house divided against itself phrase, I discovered that if you carry the 1 without moving the prime number it gets pretty obvious. Sorry I was being stooped be4.

 

Tippecanoe and Tyler too

This is a famous old one, and it means, if you tippy the canoe Tyler is also going to fall into the water.

The only thing to fear is fear itself

And bees!

Speak softly and carry a big stick

To swat bees with!

 

I Like Ike

That’s more of a slam on Mike than a promotion for Ike.

 

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

This was actually Kennedy just clearing his throat in Berlin but it came out as an actual German sentence!

 

I am not a crook!

Later after he admitted he was a crook, Nixon said “I meant COOK, I am not a cook! Pat does all that for me”

 

The buck stops here

Little known fact, when Truman said that he was pointing to his wallet

 

“I know it when I see it”

A phrase uttered by a Supreme Court justice. Later in understanding that this was a limited view he added “I also know it when it touches me”.

 

Are you better off than you were four years ago?

Unfair question because who doesn’t want to be 4 years younger, a three year old?

 

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall

One of the most famous lines said by Reagan, but Gorbachev got the last laugh as he never did tear the wall down, he HIRED it done!

(NOTE: Real Estate Version- Cause it’ll really open up the country)

 

Read my lips, no new taxes

Why read his lips, we could HEAR him! It’s like holding a piece of paper up that says ‘read this’ and saying ‘read this’. Politics must be too smart for me. Plus when I read his lips I thought he said ‘No New Texas’ and I was so relieved. One Texas is enough.

A thousand points of light

The true origin of this quote was when George Bush was preparing for Halloween, put a homemade scary mask on, which of course was really a colander, then he peered through and simply stated what he could see.

 

Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy

SO much I could say here but I just keep wondering, why did they used to name people John but call them Jack?

 

I did not have sexual relations with that woman

Later Clinton said ‘Oh THAT woman, I thought you meant someone else.

 

Fuzzy Math

Excuse me Mr. President, but that was a peach!

 

They ‘Misunderestimate’ me.

Once I heard Bush say ‘I appreciate the opportunity and I though he was going to mash it to ‘Pricitunity’.

 

Yes We Can

That was a popular one. But ‘Yes We Did’ would be the much much tougher one!

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country

Oh jeez I am SO much better at asking what my country can do for me but I’ll give it a shot. Um…hi country, how ya doin? Can I get you anything? Would you like a wall? I know where you can get one but you better speak up soon!

 

Government of the People, by the People, for the People

I get a strong feeling that this line was NOT written by a goat. You know, cause of all the non-goat references.

 

I’ll end with no comment on a quote that needs no funny comment. Teddy Roosevelt supplies all the humor needed here-

When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer ”present” or ”not guilty.”