Short Pants

Ok I have a question for the guys.  Hey guys, when it comes to shorts ironing day do you…wait…you DO have a shorts ironing day right?  The day you set aside a couple hours to iron all your shorts because you’re not wearing them like that, right?  I mean I have seen guys with really wrinkled shorts on but I just figured their iron broke and for some reason they can’t find another one.  But then I looked online and saw all kinds of irons for sale!  Even Proctor Silex makes irons ($14.59) for God sake and they don’t even work as well as heating up a pan on the stove.  And I’m not saying you then use said heated pan to iron your clothes, just heating it up is better than trying to use a Proctor Silex iron!  JUST HEATING IT UP!!!  Ok calm down…

Notice I’m trying not to say I have a ‘Pair’ of shorts. Cause are shorts really a pair?  If I say I have a pair of something don’t I have two of it?  We need to pare that plural ‘pair’ down and make it a singular.  Thank you, thank you very much…I know, I’m quite the wordsmith.  Or am I just a good Googler?  Hey, can we say that instead of ‘Good God’?   With so many different words for a higher power and all, let’s take that phraseology out of life all together. ‘What’s that in the sky, Good Googler I think it’s a comet’.  Yeah, that works just fine.

Anyway, I have so many shorts that when I look at them on shorts ironing day I think, am I even gonna live this long?  One shorts at a time people, one shorts at a time…