Six Fingers

When I was younger I decided that we’d be better off with 6 fingers and only 4 toes.  So I had my big toes removed and attached to my hands. This turned out to be a HUGE problem because they don’t make 6 fingered gloves!  Plus, and I’m still not sure how this could happen, but when I would take off my shoes my hands would kinda stink. And the other kids in school would make up horrible things to call me like: ‘Guy who had his big toes attached to his hands’.  I didn’t say the other kids were very creative now did I? Also another problem was that my new finger toes, (I called them my finger toes, I also didn’t say I was very creative) wanted to spend all their time at the market, you know, being the stupid little piggies that they are.  So I eventually had them removed and sewn back on to my feet where they started. But to this day, when I take off my shoes….

Epilogue or Afterword if you prefer:  Please don’t try to ‘logic’ this story out and say ‘Hey, wouldn’t you call them Toe Fingers and not Finger Toes?’  The answer is simple: Shut up!