Toilet Paper

There is absolutely nothing funny about the COVID-19 virus. Everyone needs to go to bed at night and be confident that they didn’t get infected, and they didn’t infect anyone!  But, I have had some interesting thoughts about TP along the way and we certainly could use a laugh, so here’s an attempt to make that happen.

TOILET PAPER TOP 10
1- I’m not saying it’s impossible to find, but lately I’ve been eyeing my paper plates in a whole new way!

2- Consider using printer paper, but it’s a risk/reward thing when you consider the location of the paper cuts.

3- When I went golfing a while back the port-o-potty on the 14^th hole had an entire, still wrapped in paper, roll of TP!  You heard me, Had!

4- There must be SOME way we can use our dryer lint traps for this right?  Wash and dry some clothes, Scrape out the lint, assemble somehow (Do I have to do everything for you?), you’re free to poop once.  Spicy Mexican food last night?  Do laundry for the whole block!

5- There MUST be a tips and tricks book put out by the homeless right?  Just sayin…

6- Squirt Gun fights with the kids: Who can hit the ‘bullseye’ the most times?

7- Drive through a car wash, and you know…stick it out the window. Hey, I’m just spit balling here!

8- They say there are two sides to every story, well that goes the same for TP, just flip it over and use it again!

9- Um..how long is the hose on your kitchen sprayer?  Just curious.

10- NOTE: For high schoolers only.  Late at night, go to the home of the most popular boy and star of the football team who won the big game!  Stand by the trees in his front yard.  Wait.

BONUS HAND WASHING TIP: They say to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds, but I’m suggesting we take it to the next level, when you wash your hands, always make sure to wash at least two other people’s hands also!